Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
i came on her dog
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
