Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Randomize
