Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Boobs are out for the taking
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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