Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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