Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize