Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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