i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
