ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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