I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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