Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
