I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
