will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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