I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
