Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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