ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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