you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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