But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
