I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
