In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Randomize