I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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