if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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