i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
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