How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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