I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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