i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
