Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize