I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
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