Little spoons don't ask big questions
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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