I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
