just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize