PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
