Don't you send me to vm
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
