hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Girls should come with a carfax report
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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