How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
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