Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
