I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
