Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
