It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize
