when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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