Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I'd cum for enchiladas.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize