My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
