just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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