you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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