I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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