Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
