Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
