you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Randomize
