Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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