I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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