I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
