i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
