No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Randomize