Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
