I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
