I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Randomize
