508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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