drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
